Been out on the town last night with Akabusi, Paul Kaye (Dennis Pennis) and Gazza. Man, we had a fucking wild night out in Soho. Let me tell you lads, pussies were popped and so were gats.
I went to a Peep Show shop. I was expecting loads of Jezza and Mark goodness, maybe pick up their new 3 disc DVD, but I was shocked when I saw a fat woman show me her poontang! And it wasn't Sophie either. You better believe The Fash got p.o'd and I got my gat and threatened to blast this bitch if she didn't give me some kind of compensation. She paid me back all right...
SHE PUT THE FASH'S JIMMY DOWN HER TONSILS!
Bitch swallowed too. Yep, she felched The Fash good. Told her to fuck right off afterwards though due to the shame of being sucked off by a fatty. I said "Fuck off bitch". I bet she's eating cake in depression right now. The cow.
So anyways, I was getting my crunk on, as you do. I met up with A-to the K-to the-A, Gazza and Rhino from Gladiators. Rhino was visiting us because he learned that his best mate Paul Parris from Renford Rejects joined those bitches at The China White Crew. So we gave him a wild night out he'd never forget.
We went to Spearmint Rhino to check out some good old fashioned poo-say! Plus I needed to wash off the gulit of being sucked off by that fat bitch. I'm sorry, but the only fat bitches I fuck are black women. Mainly because their coco bums are so attractive. You ever see that Ali G music video with shaggy where they are in Jamaica? That's heaven right there lads.
So we're in Spearmint Rhino, and there's these fucking dickheads just throwing shit at us. It's only that shit new boyband that Bradley from S Club 7 and Dane Bowers are in! They're good mates with Blackwood, you see. I thought we had a fight on our hands, but first we wanted to fuck some cunts first.
OH YEAH!!! Slayer were repping in Spearmint Rhino. They fucked these Babecast hoes backstage too. They didn't even care if it meant sloppy seconds (because I fucked the basketball sized tits hoe several times during my Fash FC on Bravo TV days). When we got back from the shag, Upper Street were nowhere to be found! Fucking pussies. Don't worry, cause we went to an insane rock club just down the street.
Performing were absolute legends Fear Factory. They rocked the set like whoa. I think it was the greatest gig I've been to since the Chingy gig back in 2004. Well wicked. But when we went backstage, that horse-faced yank from Upper Street was giving Raymond's hoe a good portion. Fuck that, we thought. No one does that to the great Raymond Herrera. So we battered the fuck out of this cunt, and Ray put the finishing touches.
Fucking hell lads, The Fash Gang has been a busy bunch as of late. Mainly because we've been dealing with an issue as of late. You see, Dave Courtney has heard so much of the Fash Gang and he wanted to be a part of the gang. Akabusi was all "LMFAO He must be joking yeah? LOLOLOLOL HYAHYAHYAHYA". Gazza meanwhile was like "i doont ahgree wiv him beein in da fass gang like moon". But being the mother-fucking leader, I wanted to him prove his worth. So I set him a few tasks.
TASK 1: PISS ON VERNON KAYE'S ANUS You'd think it was a tricky task, right? WRONG! We did it piece of piss mate. All Courtney did was threaten him with Brass Knucks and Kaye was just bending over with his starfish exposed. Jesus, that boy is a gay! He's a queer! How did Tess marry a little fairy like him?
Don't worry about where Tess was tho. Rumor has it that Lex Steel was unleashing his meat in her tight, dripping punani.
TASK 2: SHIT ON KURT COBAIN'S CORPSE So he flew over to Seattle like complete oblivious idiot, dug up Kurt Cobain's grave and took a massive dump on it. He even took a photo, the bastard.
LIFE IS SHIT...THEN YOU DIE! BUT IN KURT'S CASE, LIFE IS SHIT, THEN YOU GET SHAT ON!
TASK THREE: CUM ON PAULINE FOWLER Ewwwwwwwwwww, he actually did too. It wasn't even arrousing in the slightest. I felt absolutely sick, but I can't believe he did it. He's a true don, let me tell you.
I've just got my password back from that wanker Vinnie Jones. Can't believe it's been a year since he hacked into my account. But the good news is, I taught him a lesson he'll never, ever forget!
And he gave in at the end. Like a bitch. What a clown.
Speaking of clowns, I'm sick of Richard Blackwood. I can't believe that fucking douche's LiveJournal got exposure on HolyMoly. Why not Akabusi or The Fash or Gazza's LiveJournals'...oh that's right, WE'RE NOT CONSIDERED AS JOKES!
There you go, you piece of shit, Humilation at it's finest. You China White Crew lads got fucked by the Fash Gang. Believe bitch.
But that's not all. You see, afterwards we decided to go out to China White. Jesus Christ it's the worst place of all time. I almost threw up when some glamour model slapper wanted to slobber on my knobber. She didn't want to be a certified Fash Gang Hoe, so I just headbutted her ugly face. Maybe that would improve her looks.
But there was this one bird who heard about the Fash Gang and wanted to join the ranks of Busty Tuffnell, Ava Devine and Ruby Wax in the Certified Fash Gang Hoe league. Her name was Francesca? I don't really remember, but she was begging for Gazza's cock. Fucking hell Gazza, get in my son.
Anyways, we head off back to his digs at LDN (You see, I'm cool with the kids these days), and we try and gangbang this hoe, but some cunt smashed through our window.
Fucking hell Daz mate. What you playing at my son? You shouldn't have done that to Gazza's window mate. Cause now you're gonna have to pay...
IN CUM!
He won't be fucking with The Fash Gang any time soon.
The Fash Gang are back. Bigger. Better than ever. So get used to it.
LOL IT'S ONLY ME, VINNIE JONES! NOW YOU MAYBE THINKING, "WAT'S YOUR GAME?" FUCKING FASH IS A FUCKING WANKER IN HE! GET THIS RIGHT, HE TOLD SOME FUCKING TART IN HOLLYWOOD THAT OL' VINNIE SHOULDN'T GET THE JAMES BOND GIG. THAT GIG WENT TO SOME FACKIN MUPPET WHO I HAVE NO IDEA OF. LUCKILY, HAN SAGARS, WHO ALSO HATES FASH, LEARNED HACKING SKILLS AND GAVE ME ACCESS TO THIS ACCOUNT.
FAKIN JOKE IS ON YOU FASH YOU UTTER TART, I GOT SOME PICTURES YOU DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE!
PICTURE ONE THE CRAZY GANG ALLOWEEN PARTY 1994 FASH GOES AS NEOL EDMONDS. BUT GET THIS, HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY TIME TO BUY HIMSELF A WIG AND A FAKE BEARD, SO HE WENT TO THE MOURGE THAT WAS NEXT TO HIS 'OUSE, AND CUT THE PENISES OFF THE DEAD BODIES AND FACKIN STUCK THEM TOGETHER WITH A GLUE GUN. WAT A TOSSPOT, YEAH? THE LADS GAVE HIM STICK THAT NIGHT, AND RIGHTFULLY SO!
PICTURE TWO BACON, SAUASGE, CUM AND SHIT, 1993 FASH IS ON THE BIG BREAKFAST, YOU KNOW HE'S GOT THE GLADIATORS DEAL GOING ON. ANYWAYS, HE DOES HIS BUSINESS AND PLUGS HIS SHOW INNIT. WELL GET THIS, THE IRISH WANKER WHO HAD HIS HAND STUCK UP ONE OF THOSE FACKIN PUPPET'S ARSE SUGGESTS THAT GABY ROSLIN SHOULD SUCK FASH'S COCK SO THAT EVANS COULD GO ON THAT GLADIATORS SHOW ONE DAY. ANYWAYS, HE GOES TO AN ALLEY AND ROSLIN IS GIVING IT THE BIG ONE WITH FASH'S TODGER. SO, WHILE THE PUPPETS JUST WATCH ON, CHRIS EVANS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS IF HE ENTERED NAKED AND STARTED TO HAVE A SHIT ON BOTH PUPPETS FOR A LAFF. COMPLETELY BACKFIRED, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? FASH SHOVED ROSLIN OUT THE WAY AND HE STUCK HIS TODGER UP THE SHITTY ARSE OF EVANS. DISGUSTING IF YOU ASK ME.
BELIEVE ME FASH, YOU'LL GET YOURS SON. YOU WILL GET YOURS.
So The Fash Gang went on a long deserved vacation after all the hassle this year. Where did you go, you ask?
To a RANCH IN TEXAS! Now I now some people will be all "Whoa whoa whoa, I thought niggers like you can't be cowboys cause of the colour of your skin?". Erm, have you seen Blazing Saddles you massive wankers? Anyways, Gazza told us that he saw at least one black cowboy on the Lizzie MaGurie episode where they all go to a ranch like this one.
So anyways, the first two nights were fine. Steele must have shagged at least 5 bitches alone due to the length of his penis! But the third day, some wankstains ruined our holiday. There were calling themselves "Indians". Yeah, like Cowboys and Indians.
THESE FUCKING INDIAN BASTARDS!
Fucking wankstains. They were taking over the ranch and taking people's jobs like...well, asylim seekers.
I BET THEY FELT LIKE THEY WERE HOME LOL!
Something had to be done about this bullshit! So one by one, we decided to fuck them right up the arse (Not literally...well except for Lex)
I BET SHE WON'T BE WALKING IN A STRAIGHT LINE ANYTIME SOON!
Gazza got "Adi" drunk as a fart mate. "Adi" swallowed his own sick and died.
NO CAPTION CAN EXPRESS MY JOY AT THIS PICTURE
Ash was being an utter bastard and he sent Motivator to the hospital. What happened was that those two got into a fist fight, then Motivator tried to do a Wrist Clutch Exploder, but his back gave out (old age innit lmao) and Ash inserted a horse shoe up motivator's anus.
I GUESS HE MADE AN HORSE'S ARSE OUT OF HIMSELF AWOOGA!
Akabusi and I had to get revenge on this no-good bitch ass mother fucker, and that we did...
We found out that he had a thing for this underage actress called Dakota Fanning. Anyways, some source gave us a photo of him and this little bitch.
FUCKING SICK PAEDO!
Once he got hold of this information, he fucking bombed it down on his horse. We had a good old fashion Fash Gang chase, but with horses!
Eventually, Ash's horse monged up and Ash landed hard on the floor ala Christopher Reeve lol.
Big things happening in the life of Fash, get the drift? Yo, you better believe it.
Myself, Akabusi, Lexxxxington and Motivator traveled to LA to kick the absolute fuck out of that cockrag, Nick Lachey. HAHAHAHAHA, he was fucking bricking it mate. He said that he would let his slutty wife, Jessics, be a Fash Gang Ho~! if we didn't kick fuck out of him! Oh man, we took turns ramming our cocks in her tight fanny (LOL, this sounds like www.wowefa.org). Akabusi didn't want fanny, he wanted the starfish and STABBED it in her! LMFAO she was knocked the fuck out! We still kicked fuck out of Nick cos he's a fucking arsemunch lol.
We met up with our good mate, Eminem. We wanted to see if he could give us some fresh Fash Gang Hos~! to play with since the others are boring and the queen Fash Gang hoe calling herself Barramya's girth is too much for us nowadays. He didn't have any sadly, but he did ask us for a favor to fuck the shit out of some fucking cracker called Rob Schneider.
So we went to Rob Schneiders house and we RAPED HIM~! Lol, fucking pussy was crying like a bitch. He was crying "CHRIST SAKE, LEAVE ME ALONE, I'D SUCK YOU ALL" and we laughed! But Motivator had an idea in a half!
FACE DOWN, ARMS OUT NAILED INTO THE CROSS OF DOUBT
Where's that bitch ass mother fucker's saviour now! Lol. After that, we all went to McDonalds (Yes, we went to McDonalds in AMERICA!). We was laughing at all the fat yanks from left to right. Now, you're all thinking "this is probably going to end in someone getting shagged...
YOU'RE RIGHT!
We went to a Chubby Chasers party (ta bAzTNM for the invite lol) and Akabusi got some pussy that night!
Wtf was Max from Hollyoaks doing there? He wanted to be in the Fash Gang, but we told him to fuck off and we fucked him up!
No one has bothered to watch mine and Akabusi's amazing film. I clicked on the download page shit and FUCK ALL PEOPLE DOWNLOADED IT!
How the fuck do you NOT want to see fat busty women get spitroasted and Chesney Hawkes? Ya'll fucking British jackarses want to see that poof Kemal win Big Brother and say "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH ANTONY AND CRAIG, WILL THEY GET A ROOM LOL".
Fuck you! What do you people and my dead brother have in common? YOU'RE BOTH GAY!
Rage aside, I met Eminem the other day lol. He was fucking safe mate. I found a golden ticket on his Encore album (which I found in the bargin bin in Tesco hehe) and I won a chance to meet him. Anyways, here's a couple of photos and the story behind them.
This was taken about 9:30 in the morning-ish. He was extra tired and he couldn't be bothered talking and discussing rap music with me. I thought he was a selfish egotistical cock. I then threatened to get Akabusi to slam his 15 incher against the anushole of Haile Jade and Eminem started crying LOL! Eminem was generous. So generous, he gave us a couple of hoes to play with.
It didn't top our shag with Busty Tuffnel, but it's still fucking cracking! These two are now offically certified Fash Gang Hos~! Credit to Eminem for taking this fantastic picture.
Anytime you want to join the Fash Gang m8, shout me a holla.
Tick tock tock tick tock tick Akabusi and Fash on some murderous shit Keeping niggaz in order, making their lives shorter
BLAW BLAW BLAW, What up Fash Gang Soliders! This l-jizzle hasn't been updated since my big log of a black cock got exposed, like whoa!
I went to watch TNA No Surrender in the States last week. It was fuckin' shit, innit. Rhino? Rhino? Fuck that honky! Why didn't that cracker bitch Jarrett call The Fash Gang? Especially when myself and Akabusi are now fully fledged movie stars!
Some mother fuck broke into my crib and gone stolen some very personal photos of mine, ya hear. I then browse on www.nazimods.com and I find THIS! A very personal picture taken by DAVID PLATT from Aston Villa and Arsenal fame. Fucking cocksmoking bitch, I am so pissed!!!!!!!
Here are some culpurts
SEPH CHESNEY HAWKES DAVID PLATT
Shit. U see these wack ass bitches anywhere, BLAST THEM!
The Fash Gang have been involved in a lot of drivebys and the like as of late, but I don't want to go into that at the moment.
There is a man name Jack Osbourne. He is on some reality TV show called "The Osbournes". My ppl from Celebrity Wrestling gave me his internet messenger address so we can have a lovely chat on the internet. But he just ignored me like a bitch!
FashGangLeader: alrite jack m8, it's John Fashanu LMFAO~!~! jackyboy013 is away at 01:43 jackyboy013 returned at 01:43 FashGangLeader: m8, did u c me on celeb wrestling? Dave Meltzer and Bryan Alvarez gave my match 5 STARS~!~! lmao FashGangLeader: jack m8, dis is da real fash m8. AWOOGA. i got a lj now m8 on http://www.livejournal.com/~thefash . Join da Fash Gang PMSL :D FashGangLeader: i no 2 ppl called Draz and dopper who want 2 empty ther balls in ur sister m8 lol. jackyboy013 signed off at 01:51
The Fash Gang were representing Pete's Strip Club at Compton Bolevard and blazin shit up.
You see us in the corner and we never should of been released from the penititary. We're not sayin' we're number one...oh wait sorry I lied! We're number 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5!
Some punk ass mark by the name of Richard Blackwood came up to us and wanted to represent the Fash Gang ya'll. We was all like whoa! He gave us this and we was like "whoa this shorty is wack"
We then held him whilst Akabusi stuck his 15inch pole up his anal passage whilst laughing in hysterics. Blackwood was like "BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO I'M TELLIN THE POLICE ON YOU". Write it down, take a picture I DONT GIVE A FUCK YA'LL!
I'm fucking pissed off mate. I was in Swindon today to open a new Kwik Save and I get some Egar from Ghostbusters type of honky walk up to me and start insulting not only my good name, but the name of Kwik Save supermarkets too.
"Cutting a ribbon to symbolise that the supermarket is declared open to the public? What are you, some kind of mong?"
I wanted to swing and strike this mother fucker right there, but considering that it was in front of a public crowd, I couldn't fuck him up right on the spot!
But I kept my cool by going into the managers office and doing some fitness and thinking happy thoughts like Tupac and Biggie being sucked off by Linda Lovelace in heaven. But the cunt came back for more when he snuck into the manager's office and started to give it the lip.
"Look! If you do fitness and yoga when you are male, you are clearly either gay or an idiot."
OH THAT NIGGER GONE PAY NOW! I grabbed my gat and shoved it down his throat. I had an excuse to blast that bitch! My yoga mind then gave me special inner peace (whatever that means). My mind was telling me to reason and shit, so I told him to give me 5 reasons why I shouldn't blast shorty right there and now!
"1: Because if you do, I will stab you 2: I am the future 3: I wear glasses 4: My cat was on Animal Hospital 5: KISS MY ARSE!"
He proceeded to show me his anal passage and I had no other alternative but to shoot him right now! The bullet insterted into his anal gland. I never saw that much blood coming out of someone's ass since The Fash Gang raped Melinda Messenger and Steve McManaman's cock suffered a massive cut and blood was everywhere, ya hear.
The police heard a gunblast and I was out of there.
I got back to the swap meet where I met up with Frank Bruno and we was blazing shit up god. We had a intertresting discussion about the time myself and Wolf spitroasted Jet from our time on Gladiators.
Me~!: I'm telling you dog, shorty was up for it like WHOA Frank: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO Me: The best bit about it, get this nigger, she shoved a full pick-axe up her pussy, it was like WHOA Frank: HOHOHO HEHEHEHEHEH You no mean.
That was my day, I'm going to write something about this and spit it out on WAX!
I was blazing shit up in Kwik Save swap meet Some fat cracker came up to me, we have heat I fucked his ass up literally If he was a corpse I'd fill it up with wee
DROPPING CHRONIC FLAKES UP IN YA'LL ASS, 2005 FRESH!
Word up crackers, I'm The Fash mother fucker! Fuck with me, I'll blast you with my uzi. Word.
I fuck you up and put you in a bag, A BODY BAG! I want to inform one little punk ass bitch named Jason Donavon about something.
Yo, I used to fuck pretty blond bitches like you in prison so if ya'll want to continue dissing The Fash on wax, I'll be haooy to fuck you up with the Fash FC crew.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
thefash's journal
LET THAT BE A LESSON FASH
Fash Life
content
